Music to Stalk Your Ex by

Taking these songs on face value and considering they tell a story of a real person’s experience (I know that they don’t necessarily have to, but for the purpose of this article they will), here’s my countdown.

Lionel Richie – Hello

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I start with this one because it’s kind of sweet. It’s not as heavily into the physical aspect of stalking as the others on my list (although if you’ve seen the video you may disagree with me on this). This is a case of boy loves girl – girl has no clue (interest). He’s clearly looking at her, yearning for her from a distance. He’s obviously been allowing his mind to wander far too much in his obsession with this girl, but at least he hasn’t taken the step to physically follow her (yet).  I think the most disturbing thing of all about this song is that he’s already convinced himself that he loves her when he doesn’t seem to know her at all. This kind of obsession has the potential to be problematic for both parties. The obsessed becomes disillusioned when their ideals of perfection cannot possibly be lived up to, while the object of their obsession has unreal standards – created in someone else’s head – they can never attain.

“I’ve been alone with you inside my mind
And in my dreams I’ve kissed your lips a thousand times
I sometimes see you pass outside my door
Hello, is it me you’re looking for?

I can see it in your eyes, I can see it in your smile
You’re all I’ve ever wanted and my arms are open wide.”

The Police – Every Breath you Take

 Here’s a man supposedly singing to his ex-girlfriend. He can’t get over her decision to leave him.  He’s broken and crying. I appreciate all of this and I understand his hurt. But then the pain becomes crazed and perverted. He takes the wrong turn and watches her every step. Literally. This is a real fear and it’s warped to think that this kind of behaviour would be acceptable on any level.  I would head to the nearest police station if anyone told me anything like this. ‘Oh can’t you see, you belong to me,’ he says. She, on the other hand doesn’t seem to ‘see’ this because she packed up and left, unaware that now she’s the object of his obsession.

“Every breath you take, Every move you make, Every bond you break, Every step you take
I’ll be watching you.

Every single day, Every word you say, Every game you play, Every night you stay
Ill be watching you.”

Don’t you want me  – Human League

Here’s the classic stalking scenario. Two people went out together when they were both in menial jobs. The girl has moved on both in career and relationship, and the man cannot accept that she’s now in a better position than he is. He refuses to even consider that her upward mobility has nothing to do with him. Drowning in his ego, he thinks that everything good that has happened in her life is solely owed to him. And he wonders why she left him.

But don’t forget
It’s me who put you where you are now
And I can put you back down too

Don’t, don’t you want me
You know I can’t believe it
When I hear that you won’t see me
Don’t, don’t you want me
You know I don’t believe you
When you say that you don’t need me
It’s much too late to find
You think you’ve changed your mind
You’d better change it back
Or we will both be sorry

Gloria Estefan – Can’t Stay Away From You

Here’s a mistaken-love signs situation where the woman cannot accept that the man wants to go his own way. After having some fun, he seems to have said that all he now wants is friendship because he does not love her. This is hard to accept, understandably so. However, towards the end you realise that even though she hears what he’s saying and understands he doesn’t want her, she has no qualms about forcing herself on him. She dwells on the thoughts that he may, after all, ‘change his mind,’ ‘call her up,’ ‘say he loves her.’ By the end of the song, the desperation ‘look over your shoulder’ is clear. This is definitely stalk material.

Hold on to ev’ry bit of hope
That’s all I ever do
Hoping you might change your mind
And call me up to say how much you need me, too
And, though you’re leaving me no other choice
Than to turn and walk away
Look over your shoulder–I’ll be there
You can count on me to stay
‘Cause I can’t stay away from you

 Blondie – One Way or Another

This should’ve been my number one, as I will never, ever sing this song again. Here is a woman so caught up in stalking and destroying her ex, she won’t allow herself the relief of getting over the break-up. She talks about driving past his house and following his bus to see who he’s hanging out with. There is also a reference to rat food in this song. I confess I don’t know what it means. I can only guess it has something to do with rat poison, but maybe not. The entire mood of the song takes your thoughts to strange and treacherous places.

One way or another, I’m gonna find ya.
I’m gonna getcha, getcha, getcha, getcha.
One way or another, I’m gonna win ya.
I’m gonna getcha, getcha, getcha, getcha.
One way or another, I’m gonna see ya.
I’m gonna meetcha, meetcha, meetcha, meetcha.
One day, maybe next week, I’m gonna meetcha.
I’m gonna meetcha, I’ll meetcha.
I will drive past your house, and if the lights are all down I’ll see who’s around.

Rick Astley – Never Gonna Give You Up

This is my number one because even though the other lyrics are creepy, this one seems sick, deluded and potentially very dangerous. The other people involved in the previous ‘relationships’ had some knowledge (at least) of it going on. In ‘Hello’ the girl was revered, and the man seemed sane (he knew she was unaware of his interest). There was never a relationship, and unlike, ‘Hello’ the man is not conscious of the girl’s non-interest in the matter. These are the words of a deluded psychopath who mistakes friendship for romance.

We’ve know each other for so long
Your heart’s been aching
But you’re too shy to say it
Inside we both know what’s been going on
We know the game and we’re gonna play it

Each person has their own list of songs which say something is not quite right. These have made my list because they are the ones which have disturbed me most of all. What songs are on your ‘creep-out’ list?

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