Posted in: Musicouching by Bob Craypoe on June 10th, 2009 | 0 Comments
This articles explains how you may have to get rid of a band member if he’s not pulling his weight or living up to expectations, even if he is a friend. You must learn to separate business from personal.
Money is the bottom line in any business venture. Whether it is in the music industry or any other business. Money is what you need to pay your bills. As a band, you want to make money. Maybe you want just a little extra spending money or you want to make the big time. In either case, you need to get rid of the dead weight or the problem band member if he significantly impedes the band’s progress. That is a matter of business related necessity. So this is therefore a business related decision.
Now the personal aspect of it comes into play. Mike is a great guy. Hey, he’s the one that hooked you up with one of his girlfriend’s friends. Now she’s your main squeeze and you’re in love. He’s the guy who gave you a lift to work when your car was in the shop. He’s really one hell of a nice guy. Now you see how hard it can be to get rid of Mike. Yet, you must remember one thing. Is it fair to the rest of the band to keep him around just because he’s your best bud? Is mike going to pay your electric bill if you are short this month? Probably not. In most cases, our friends do not pay our bills for us.
Wouldn’t it be nice to be out there playing and making a little extra money to make it easier to pay your bills? Unfortunately, your good friend Mike isn’t learning the songs fast enough for you to get out there and start playing any time in the foreseeable future. Maybe you’ve already had band meetings with the other members to discuss the issue of replacing him. Now it’s time to follow through, you just have to get up the nerve. To get up the nerve, you should consider the following points:
This is a business decision and not a personal decision. You should explain to Mike how, although you may not be together in a band anymore, that you still would like to be friends.
Mike needs to understand how his behavior has affected the other members of the band.
Mike needs to know that this decision is unanimous. If you go to Mike and say that the other guys wanted to get rid of him, he’ll just say “why didn’t you stick up for me?” or he may just suggest that you go with him and start another band. Then you have to tell him the truth anyway. Telling him it was a joint decision on the part of all of the other members also prevents him from trying to pit one person against another.
You must remember that if Mike is really such a good friend, then he should not want to be a burden or inconvenience to the rest of the band members. He should understand, even if his feelings are hurt, that the right thing to do would be for him to step aside and accept the determination made by the other band members.
If Mike fails to see the connection between his bad behavior and the outcome then maybe he’s not the easiest person to reason with anyway. Maybe he’ll be resentful no matter how well you approach the situation. You just have to remember that if that is the case, it’s on him not you.
So if you’re in a band situation similar to the one outlined in this article, I hope this will be of some help to you. There is no way to really handle any situation flawlessly. Getting rid of a band member who is a friend is probably one of the hardest things you may have to face in a band situation. However, it is often a matter of necessity. So, since Mike is probably not going to pay your bills for you, you should probably go give him the bad news. I’ll tell you what, I’ll leave now so that you can tell him in private. No need to make it any more awkward than it needs to be. Good luck, and tell Mike I said hi.
