Five F*cked Up Looking Rock Stars

In my time, I’ve been to too many rock shows. In my time at these shows, I have come to realize that some of the dudes that sing my favorite tunes scare me. I find that funny because it wasn’t the drugs, the psycho lyrics, the jumping around like a lunatic on stage or the scary rock singer expressions that freaked me out, it was these dudes’ faces. I know, it’s mean to say so, but they are still awesome in my mind and it’s not like they’re losing any *ss over it.

F*cked Up Looking Rock Stars #5: Maynard James Keenan of Tool

Tool is one of the best bands of all time. I really don’t care what you think. This is fact. If you don’t like it . . . you know what to do. Anyway, they definitely rock, Maynard is definitely the man, so someone tell me why he looks like Moby with hair and on ecstasy in this picture? Furthermore, I would like to know why he has his hair done like a cracked out Rainbow Brite?

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F*cked Up Looking Rock Stars #4: Corey Taylor of Slipknot

Slipknot is yet another personal favorite. Corey Taylor may even be in my top three favorite singers of all time. I will say this for him, he is looking much better since he took off the mask and did a little grooming. However, in the time between the removal of the mask and the grooming that turned him into a *gag* heartthrob, Corey was looking rather sinister. Check out the picture below. Is it just me or does he look like an extra from the Hills Have Eyes?

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F*cked Up Looking Rock Stars #3: Every Douche in GWAR

Seriously, is the excessive stage presence necessary? Oh, wait, it is when you have no talent. Yep. Without further ado here is a picture of grownup dress-up in the psycho ward.

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F*cked Up Looking Rock Star #2: Dez Fafara currently of Devil Driver

He was scary as a skinny tweaker in Coal Chamber and now he’s scary as a beefy biker in Devil Driver. He’s pretty awesome, though. I’ll give him that.

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F*cked Up Looking Rock Star #1: Marilyn Manson of Arrogantly Self-Titled Band

This guy is the ultimate of ugly. Believe it or not, he looks worse without all of his man makeup carefully applied, goth hooker style. Don’t believe me? The pic below is of him with no makeup on, okay, very little makeup on. I have to admit, I liked his band back in the day.

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They may be ugly, but don’t worry, they won’t hurt you. Just listen to their song lyrics; they’re as harmful as kittens. Mwahahaha