Eight of the Greatest Geek Anthems of All Time

The internet is filled with geek music; music that was written/performed by geeks, concerning their hobbies, or to take the piss out of everyone who’s ever looked down on us. So, in honor of geek kind, I present to you five of the best of these songs. In no particular order:

World of Warcraft is a Feeling, By Pure Pwnage

“World of Warcraft is a feeling… who needs a social life?”

It would be fair to say that pure pwnage is probably one of the most popular web series out there. And when they produce gems like this, you can’t really blame them. Aside from the fact that you can’t figure out if this song is serious or not, the most disturbing thing is it’s actually really well written and performed.

White and Nerdy, by Weird Al

“1st in my class here at MIT, got skills I’m a champion at DnD”

Weird Al has probably written more geek songs than any other artist, and is definitely extremely popular in our glorious energy drink laden sub culture. Al has a tendency to write parodies rather than original songs, but that doesn’t stop you from appreciating the thought that he puts into his music. This song is a parody of “Riding dirty” by Chameleonaire.

First time I heard this I just creased up and laughed until I nearly died of asphyxiation. It was even funnier when I put the song on while in a chav bar. It took a lot of them a while to realize that they where cheering the wrong song…

Obey the Moderator, by Optimus Rhyme

“If I wanna block you, there’s no way you can stop me, confident, cocky, the cubicle jockey…”

I love Optimus Rhyme. Smooth flows and catchy lyrics make them easy and amusing to listen to. Their music tends to focus around aspects of working life, including the drudgery of office work, idiot co workers, morons who call tech support and so forth. This little piece is all about forum moderators. I have to say, I’ve never known a forum moderator quite as… intense as the guy their going on about this video though.

That will be going around in your head for hours now and you know it. Enjoy!

Every OS Sucks, By Three Dead Trolls In a Baggie

“DOS never crashed on me, I should be able to get online without a PHD, every computer crashes, because every OS sucks…”

I think pretty much everyone who’s used a computer can see at least something in this song. The trolls pick out pretty much everything that’s wrong with every operating system, and tell it like it is. No doubt it will have certain OS fanboys (and fangirls) screaming at their monitors as their preferred arrangement of icons is slated on screen, but hey; they make some good points. Not sure about the whole “you only need 32Kb of RAM” thing though… This is the unedited version of the song, so you need to put up with a few minutes of (albeit very interesting) waffle at the start.

Not exactly the greatest piece of singing in existence, but it still entertains in a different way.

Goth Girls, By MC Frontalot

“Legs deep in the boots, boots up on the heels, just the kind to make a certain type of fetisher squeal…”

MC Frontalot is the granddad of Nerdcore, A form of hip hop that Optimus Rhyme also belong in. To learn more about it (And other interesting sub genres of hip hop), you can read an interesting article on the subject here. As you shall see in this video, Frontalot uses many of the techniques and styles associated with gangsta rap, and sticks in his own words. The result is a satirical piece that has you laughing even as your foot taps along to the rhythm (Note, this is a user made video, as no official music video has been released for this song).

Well, at least it got Obey the Moderator out of your head. This song however will reverberate in your skull for even longer. Please include a small cash donation with each death threat you send me. Thanks!

Download this song, by MC Lars

“Hey mister record man your system can’t compete, it’s the new market model, File transfer, file play!”

This video is an attack by MC Lars on the major record labels. I feel quite strongly on this subject, and if you’re interested in learning how the music industry is actually encouraging piracy, and ripping off EVERYONE (including artists!), you can read this article. Lars was something of a one hit wonder, and his popularity has dropped lately, but this song when it was relased in Britain, made it into the charts, and onto the radio, a feat many other geek songs have not manahed to achieve.

Don’t forget kids: Piracy is bad, and we must all allow ourselves to get bent over a table by the music industry so that they can have their Ferraris. It’s just the way it is, don’t question it. [/sarcasm]

What we Need More Of Is Science, By MC Hawking

“On Blind faith, they place reliance, what we need more of, is science.”

Okay, this is a thinly veiled attack on creationism, but it’s still funny. Oh, and incidentally, if any flaming starts in the comments section of this article, those comments will be deleted. I don’t care if you’re for, or against this video, or the concepts it’s taking the mickey out of. If you need to vent, do it an appropriate forum. MC Hawking is actually Ken, Leavitt-Lawrence, who uses the old willowtalk program to make the “singing” and then mashes it up using audio editing software. So, busta, you ready to hear the beats and flows of the farther of physics?

What does Hawking himself have to say on this? He finds it funny, “A modern day equivalent to spitting image.” If you’ve never seen spitting image then it sucks to be you. If you have seen it and don’t get it, then you’re either a) not British, or b) too young. In both cases, still sucks to be you .

The Geek (Shall inherit), By Wir Sind Helden

“The last should be first, The first see as the last, The geek shall inherit the earth”

All of these songs are great as the celebrate geek culture in its many forms, but they overlook one important little fact. Often times, being a geek sucks ass. In school you get the crap kicked out of you, as well as alienated from what feels like 90% of the population. Outside school your parents want you to go out and play football rather than play videogames. You never seem to get the girl, or the attractive guys never notice you. Even at university it seems that this segregation continues, albeit on a lower level. When you grow up and start working, you always seem to either a) be working under a moron, or B) be working with morons. So, for every time we’ve walked home with broken glasses, for every time we’ve been told our java scripts aren’t elegant enough by someone who knows jack all, for every time they whisper about as around the water cooler, we should remember this. The Geek shall inherit the earth.

Translation available here.

In closing

I hope you enjoyed this music as much as I did. Love and peace to you all, and try to remember what’s important. That we laugh as much as we can every day, and frown only to the misery of others. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go and finish writing my newest piece of work, a rap piece under the title of “MC Evis”…