The Glee of Gentlemen (Don’t Stop Deceiving)

I am not overly keen on the Kings of Leon. They are overplayed and overrated, which is not to say they’re actually bad. I do however like their stance on “Glee”, the show about musical misfits that’s so sweet that watching it for more than 5 minutes will give you type 2 diabetes. When asked to contribute some material to the show, the Kings of Leon refused. This annoyed Glee co-creator Ryan Murphy, accusing them of being “self-centred a**holes” and that they’d “missed the big picture”. Fans of Glee, or “Gleeks”, agreed. It is Murphy who is missing the bigger picture. Glee cannot start to assume that they have the right to transmogrify every single piece of music ever- it’s as arrogant as he thinks the Kings of Leon are. Ultimately, that is the writer’s decision who (if anybody) covers their songs, but even that can be a slippery slope.

Spielberg provoked fury when he digitally replaced all the guns in E.T: The Extra Terrestrial with walkie-talkies, and Lucas digitally altering and even changing the direction of scenes was widely derided by the fans of Star Wars. Those films, once made, were as much the audience’s as the makers, and so it is with music. If the songs of Glee stayed inside the programme, I wouldn’t be so vexed, but the songs spew out onto the radio, they overflow onto the television like sanitised vomit. Brutalised Beatles and Beach Boys numbers and R.E.M songs that actually sound like they’ve lost their religion, not to mention poignancy and appeal.

Let us forget for the moment that almost every band and artist on there has decided to let Glee “re-imagine” their songs purely for the love of lucre despite being well moneyed already (Paul McCartney, I’m looking at you. Give the proceeds to charity). Glee argues that it’s about getting kids to love music, and it will promote interest in the musicians. If that is so, these kids may grow up to be some adults lacking in musical standards, not being able to distinguish between talent and factory pop. It takes so much more talent to write a half decent song rather than cover it, as All Saints cover of Red Hot Chili Peppers’ “Under the Bridge” shows.

It’s not just ye olde songs that Glee cover, though. They also do numbers that have been released less than a year before they’re on the show. I’m not sure if the world was crying out for another version of Lady Gaga’s “Telephone” less than a year from when it was released. And perhaps the most depressing thing about it all is that old or new, these songs all get the same treatment and production, the same autotuning and fumigation of any originality the song may have had in the first place. Every Glee song is like the next, it is the fast food chain of music. Cheap and cheerful, but designed for lazy people who are ultimately left unnourished. Oh, and this glee mincer that’s churned out 139 patty pop singles to date, despite only having existed since 2009, working out at more than one a week.

In conclusion, then, huzzah for the Kings of Leon, and also to Guns ‘n ‘Roses for standing up to the might of the Glee juggernaut. The co-creator actually said “F**k you” to the Kings of Leon, albeit from the safety of a glossy Hollywood magazine. I put forward the motion that he should f**k himself. The self centred a**hole.