Posted in: Pop by Akeeba on October 22nd, 2008 | 20 Comments
Although seemingly a wonderfully intriguing and audibly pleasing song, “If I Were A Boy” by Beyonce Knowles mixes many interesting and thought-provoking ideas with a bit of raw, unabashed sexism.
First of all, I like the sound of this song and will likely enjoy listening to it in the future. That said, I feel it’s important to point out the sexism in a song like this. Secondly, the idea of being a boy with a woman’s brain, emotions, and feelings is an important issue that many men would do well to think about. However, it is this broad and false generalization of ‘boys’ and ‘girls’ that makes this song especially sexist.
The first stanza:
“If I were a boy
Even just for a day
I’d roll out of bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted and go
Drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I’d kick it with who I wanted
And I’d never get confronted for it
Because they’d stick up for me”
I like this idea. It shows the inherent privilege involved with being male in a male-dominated world. It’s often said that men don’t have to worry about what they look like, what they wear, how they smell, etc… Men often get to spend time at the bar while their partners are at home taking care of the children or the home. Men are supported by other men who may hold positions of power within society, thereby allowing men to “stick up” for one another effectively. And even though many individual relationships frown upon it, society in general allows men a certain amount of leeway when looking at or “chasing after” women. The success of female models in advertising attests to that. So, the overall idea here is a good one, one that highlights some differences due to privilege that really shouldn’t exist.
She goes on to sing:
“If I were a boy
I think that I’d understand
how it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man
I’d listen to her
cause I know how it hurts
when you lose the one you wanted
cause he’s taken you for granted
and everything you had got destroyed!
If I were a boy”
This, the chorus, is also an important idea to think about. And it goes far beyond men understanding women and vice-versa. Here, Beyonce sings about the empathy she would have if she were a man. Because she knows the feelings described well, from direct experience, she would be able to know those feelings as a man and then be a “better man” from it. She would inherently know how to treat a woman if she were a man because she would know how she wants men to treat her. With this empathy, she would be a better man. And interestingly, with this kind of empathy, many of us could be better people. Wouldn’t it be helpful if all of us attempted to have this type of empathy with others that we interact with?
And then:
“I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone that its broken
so they think
that I was sleeping alone
I’d put myself first
and make the rules as I go
cause I know that she’ll be faithful
waiting for me to come home (to come home)”
Again, men have privilege to be able to turn off their phone and not care about missing calls. Well, that’s the privilege Beyonce is trying to suggest that men have. In reality, men are slaves to their cell phones as much as women are. That’s a technology issue. The idea of putting oneself first is typically associated with men, though. The idea of being selfish, every man for himself, to each his own, etc… that kind of thing. Assuming the woman in the relationship will be faithful isn’t smart, but it’s something that society suggests is safe to do. I think these ideas come from some rerun of a fifties sitcom or something. After all, it’s those filthy, mean, cheating husbands and boyfriends that women are told to watch out for, yet encourage to lust after.
The song continues to the point where the focus switches from Beyonce in the man’s point of view to someone she’s talking to as being “just a boy.” Overall, it’s a nice sounding song, as I stated above. But the ideas of boys doing this and girls doing that, these broad and often false generalizations, along with the use of the terms ‘boy’ and ‘girl’ instead of ‘man’ and ‘woman’ are sexist. It’s unfortunate that the many enlightening points in the song are overshadowed and essentially eclipsed by the sexist oppression created from these generalizations. I can picture listeners getting the need for empathy but then realizing their place in the song, as men or women, and acting out those roles accordingly instead of practicing empathy. It’s unfortunate. The idea behind this song has potential. If one could be another, then the whole world would be different … better. But, according to Beyonce, “You’re just a boy” who acts like a boy, and you’re just a girl who acts like a girl … the two will never be the same.
Vlad October 22nd, 2008 at 1:01 pm
Hey I like this song! But you’re right, instead of blurring the line between what men and women should be, it only aims to jump over it. For a day. Yeah, a frustrating lack of imagination!!!
pete November 8th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
I liked Beyonce for years before this song. As a male I found the narrow minded lyrics on a par with the usual stereotypes about black people, jewish people, and other groups. The lyrics describe the opposite to myself and many males I know. I can only say, as I often do when I hear such stereotypes: “I would rather be a man than a bigot.”
Derek Hosewood December 4th, 2008 at 8:33 am
This song annoys me. Sounds nice but the lyrics are insulting. I am ‘boy’ and don’t do any of those things. Just as not all women are a certain way neither are all men. Irritating, if she wrote and agrees with these lyrics then she must have a very dismal view of men.
Lyrics ruin the song for me
Derek .
ChriZ December 6th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
Was just thinking the same.
PAT December 6th, 2008 at 10:15 pm
i am really tired of here sexist songs…
Andrew December 21st, 2008 at 2:37 pm
Women turn their ‘phones of and ignore calls too! Lots of people do that. Everyone’s an idividual and I’m pretty sick of having to feel apologetic for being male. It’s making me bitter.
Paul December 24th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
Shes just a lesbian honestly what do you expect. She surrounds herself with her all female band and has little or no male imput in her life. Very Sad really but hey its number one so she must have done something right for people to agree with her.
KXL January 4th, 2009 at 11:08 am
If a “boy” would write such a song about a “girl” instead of the other way around, the song would have been banned from TV and angry women would be protesting and snapping their fingers at the singer, songwriter and record company.
If a guy would write/sing something like :
“If I were a girl,
I’d never get off the phone
I’d wear skimpy shirts
then scream ‘leave me alone!’
I’d put my make-up on in the car
driving 90 and crash
I’d go shopping for HOURS
and spend all my man’s cash”
If that was a song, there’d be rioting!… But it’s JUST as insulting as the above song. I’m a ‘boy’ and her lyrics don’t come anywhere NEAR how I am. AT ALL.
Chaotic January 4th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
Beyonce is a great entertainer, no question, but it does seem that everything she does bashes guys in some way or the other
Roger January 10th, 2009 at 1:43 pm
I don’t think that “If I Were a Boy” is sexist. It is basically about one woman lamenting her relationship with one man. Same with “Witchy Woman” by the Eagles.
I think Ciara’s “Like a Boy” is a better song on a similar topic, but I guess she’s not as big a star as Beyonce.
Boyfriends are probably more inconsiderate than girlfriends. But in early dating, men are definitely more considerate than women.
Women are less likely to take a man for granted, but they are more likely to reject you in the first place.
Essentially, men are sexist in the bedroom, women are sexist in the bar room.
If Beyonce doesn’t like her man in “If I Were a Boy,” maybe she should go back to those guys in “Bootylicious,” and “Baby Boy.” Oh yeah, those guys weren’t “Ready for her jelly,” and “Couldn’t keep up.” They’re also probably less likely to treat her badly.
In “Check on it,” some rapper’s intro says, “Good girls want to get down with the gangsters.” Fine. But those “gangsters” are more likely to make you want to daydream about “If I Were a Boy.”
Essentially, if your boyfriend treats you badly, you can dump him today and get a better one tomorrow. He’ll treat you better, but probably won’t be as exciting. A lot of women aren’t willing to make that compromise.
I think that men and women need to think about how they treat and perceive people of the opposite sex.
Kali January 28th, 2009 at 5:21 pm
If you were a woman, and I were your man,
Would it be so hard to understand,
That a heart’s a heart, and we do what we can?
If you were a woman, and I was your man.
Interestingly, Soldier seemed very like a copy of “Holding Out For a Hero”, too. SSDD – Same sentiment, different decade.
Jacqui Messer June 6th, 2009 at 8:39 pm
Okay, so you’re all here saying that you are not like the stereotypical cheating male right?
Well fair enough, I believe there are a few out there, however I have not yet found one. If you are challenging the male stereotype and I’m not saying you can’t, why not allow females too?
Why do we need shoulders to lean on? Why do we need to be fragile? If given the chance, I’m sure you’d find that females are just a stong and capable as males.
Meagan November 29th, 2009 at 11:29 pm
I don’t like how men or ‘boys’ get angry at this song but there are hundreds of other songs out there (I’ll say many of them are rap but I know there are other genres that do the same thing) that are demeaning to women. As soon as one women comes out with a song that is somewhat attacking men, all of the men go crazy. So I encourage all of the men to take a look at male artists and the degrading songs that they sing about women before they start criticizing Beyonce for this song. I understand that this song is not describing a lot of males, but I’m sure that a lot of men can identify with a least some parts of this song.
Proud to be Male December 4th, 2009 at 1:02 am
Meagan: Why would we do that? If the feminists are all right with songs degrading to women (and they must be, look at what happened to Don Imus and the Duke Lacrosse team when feminists became “not all right” with them), why bother? Of course, since the feminists would never stand against a fellow woman (oops, sorry, a fellow womyn), us men know that SOMEONE has to.
Sexism against women = sexism, sexism against men = feminism
Warren February 5th, 2010 at 10:34 pm
SOMEONE OR SOME GROUP MUST PUT AN END TO THIS CYCLE OF SEXISM !
Because if you check back many many years, the sexist behaviour has f’d up many relationships and lives !
It is no more a joke or fascinating topic to discuss !
I as a man feel that women need to voice their feelings but with no uncertainty – More Women are f’ing up all womens future’s by being incapable of distinguishing “good men” from “bad men” than are many men with women.
“men are all pigs” ??
Understandably young men and women are under alot more pressure these days to get the “job” and “family” life going and cant afford for it to all blow up in their faces later on.
It is a big investment.
Men and Women need to really appreciate this !!
And please “Respect each other” better !
We as humans are turning ugly very fast !
Lets “Return to Innocense” baby !!!!!!!!!!!!
Warren
Stephen February 10th, 2010 at 11:03 am
Meaghan: Where have you been for the last twenty years? That’s all that anyone ever hears. It’s well-known that rap songs are sexist against women and the average person on the street would be able to tell you that. But Beyonce can write garbage like this, “Irreplaceable” and “Single Ladies”, all of which have sexist lyrics, and not get called a sexist for it. And you think MEN should point out songs that are sexist against WOMEN? Women can get away with sexist songs like this and have for a long time, so don’t try to trivialise or justify it with statements like “As soon as one women comes out with a song that is somewhat attacking men, all of the men go crazy”, since it’s been happening for a long time.
And your statement of “I encourage all of the men to take a look at male artists and the degrading songs that they sing about women before they start criticizing Beyonce for this song” is so hypocritical, it’s unbelievable. Here’s an idea; why don’t you start taking a look at female artists and the degrading songs they sing about men before you start criticising rap songs?
Marta October 16th, 2010 at 11:20 pm
I too find this song (as well as other Beyonce songs) sexist, but not in the way most people do. On the surface she criticizes what she perceives to be typical male behaviour, but in reality she herself perpetuates old-fashioned ideas about how women should behave. For instance, when she says:
If I were a boy
Even just for a day
I’d roll out of bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted and go
Drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I’d kick it with who I wanted
she’s criticizing men but also saying women can’t or shouldn’t behave like that because they’ll be confronted for it. Who cares if we’re confronted? Who cares if society doesn’t like it? It’s not by criticizing men that that will ever change. It’s by doing whatever it is you want to do and holding your head up high, regardless of what society might think.
samuel welsh April 4th, 2011 at 11:24 pm
she needs tospeak up agaist sexism towards women in the music industery.
Jay June 11th, 2011 at 4:57 am
Well done Marta, you’ve hit the nail on the head right there! This song is not only sexist towards guys. It gives a completely distorted view of the stereotypical: 1. “boy” thats a slob, sleeps with who he wants and doesnt give a damn about women (which most of us are not like) 2. “girl” who will put up with the cheating and lack of emotions and would never stand up to a man.
There are a minority of people who live that way, but most people are looking for their perfect partner to treat right and settle down with and have the confidence to not put up with anyone who doesnt care about them.
Beyonce is an awful sexist who clearly has a deluded view of “boys and girls”. I know there are some awful rap songs that are sexist towards women, but this song is mainstream, and if a man was to write a song like this about a stereotypical girl the public would be up in arms about it. It’s songs like this that damage the view of men and women and create more of this stereotype and damages society.
Jay June 11th, 2011 at 4:57 am
Well done Marta, you\’ve hit the nail on the head right there! This song is not only sexist towards guys. It gives a completely distorted view of the stereotypical: 1. \”boy\” thats a slob, sleeps with who he wants and doesnt give a damn about women (which most of us are not like) 2. \”girl\” who will put up with the cheating and lack of emotions and would never stand up to a man.
There are a minority of people who live that way, but most people are looking for their perfect partner to treat right and settle down with and have the confidence to not put up with anyone who doesnt care about them.
Beyonce is an awful sexist who clearly has a deluded view of \”boys and girls\”. I know there are some awful rap songs that are sexist towards women, but this song is mainstream, and if a man was to write a song like this about a stereotypical girl the public would be up in arms about it. It\’s songs like this that damage the view of men and women and create more of this stereotype and damages society.