All That Jazz

You start out by going with it. When you feel the groove, improvise. Syncopate it. Take the rhythm somewhere else. Out there where it’s just you and the beat and together you make the groove. Now liven and brighten it up and all that jazz you do, the jazz dance, the jazz ballet, jazz-funk pocket of cool, chill till the jazzbos jazzercise till they are seriously jazzed.

Jazz it up in 5/4 till it’s the jiving-est, Take Five kinda’ bop. You know, like the hep cats do and pretty soon, you’ll be a jazzer too. The crowd sizzles, informal and enthusiastic, jazzed to the point where the beat is all color, goin’ from black to white, all right and you can jazz bop till you drop.

Feel the real deal jazz-funk groove tappin’ the sweet spot right between your thighs, grace note to the thump of the base drum dotted whole note hittin’ you right between the eyes, energizing, aneathastizing the fuck outta’ your pocket till you are the music. Now you’re talkin’, all jazzy, snazzy, dazzling and so medium cool even the critics can’t resist and they’re tappin’ their pens and gettin’ razzed. Say goodbye to dead wood, funeral dirge, killer dope and bein’ alone on the downbeat and anxious on the upbeat. Snap your fingers and wiggle your toes, inhale the fresh air and scrunch your nose, you’re entering a new, cool, blue and it’s all you, all the time, 24/7/365 Jazz Age.

Lay back and let it linger, tap your finger or your foot if you feel, the zing, the sting, ring-a-ling-a-ding cause your making music cuz. Scattin’ the melody, first time you been free, not just a fantasy and now’s the time to lay it down, hit the ground, shoot for the stars and go to town.

You’re a real jazzer now. A hep, cool kitten that purrs with a whir and stirs up a frenzy of feel that’s jazzy and real. Worship at the church of bop, the temple of skidoo, the holiest of holies where it’s all about you. This rhythm’s yours and baby that’s pure. A finger-popping plea for more scat, more swing, more blue notes till the polyrhythm in a funk based fusion offers up hard bop, modal, soul jazz and just plain old fashion Kansas City Jazz.

Acid and Nu Jazz highlight the cool new you. An avant-garde aspect in the approach gone way gone beyond improvisation into the realm or Sun Ra till you go Miles and Miles and Miles before Bird flips you off for being all jazzed up with no place to go.

Dig it? Check your ego at the door and tune up, blue jazz it up and do it up brown because otherwise it’s all just a crash course for the ravers. Rock and roll never looks back because the daddy cool of it all, jazz is still making babies, spittin’ game with the ladies. The jazz becomes female when it crept into you so lay it on the line and keep it real just like you always do.